Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize