Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
