wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
