your thong is hanging out like whoa
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
