so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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