...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
