Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
