But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
