Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i used baking grease as lip gloss
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
