apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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