So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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