we're chasing vodka with high fives
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
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i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
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Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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