how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
