omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize