I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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