are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
