You just made me feel so damn special
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize