She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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