I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
they're like a gay fantastic four
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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