i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Do vagina's smell?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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