i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
