Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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