you didnt know i had herpes?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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