I wish I only lived at night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
