Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
