just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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