I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Less talking, more tequila
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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