i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize