if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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