im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
