Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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