It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
