:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
