I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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