none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm drive I can fine osifer
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
