I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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