Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
