We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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