R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
