During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I touched a dick in church today
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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