I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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