New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
