I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
