just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize