Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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