Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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