i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
