i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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