We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
why didn't you poke me back
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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