The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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