yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
