I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
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Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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