is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
