i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
