I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.