Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
