It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
